My younger sister got married last May and became a mom shortly after. I decided I would become a travel nurse and left shortly after she got pregnant. I didn't even get to see her pregnant. Henry was born March 27, 2014 and for the first couple of  months I was privileged to see him through photos and face time. In June, I was in between assignments and I came home. To see my sister as a mom was extremely weird and awe inspiring. I'm not talking weird as in bad, it is just weird as in - I never thought I would see this day. I never pictured it and I sure didn't picture it happening before me. I always thought since I was older, I would have kids first, but since she got married, we all were expecting it. Two months after her marriage, she announced she was pregnant to me and surprised me so much I cried. The family knew before I had and Dawn gave me a card and said, "Look what Kim (our older sister ) gave me for my birthday." She handed me a card with a little giraffe on it and it said Happy Birthday to proud parents. I looked up and asked, "Are you...?" I couldn't finish. Dawn and Chad finished for me. "We are going to be parents and he is coming in March." I was so happy that I would be an aunt, I started to cry. It was hard moving away to Florida knowing she would have Henry soon and I wasn't going to be apart of the new moments of seeing him when he was young but I left anyways. When I came home to visit, I traveled up to Columbus, an hour and a half from Dayton to see him for the first time. It was so strange to see him for the first time so big. He was two and a half months and the new baby look had passed. He was big. I held him for the first time and he was already holding his head up and I knew he my little nephew. Hey there Big Henry. I cant wait till he is a little toddler to run around with, but for now I get to hold him and kiss him as much as I want. I asked if I could babysit the next day. Dawn didn't have any problem and didn't hesitate. She gave me brief directions on how to re-heat breast milk and how to do it. I had not babysat for at least ten years. I cant even remember when I babysat for a child this young.

      I watched Dawn feed Henry that night and saw how exhausted she was. Her stories about how she had to wake up to feed him every couple of hours sounded tiring but I didn't really understand how hard it was until the next day when I got a little taste of motherhood. It was really hard watching Dawn so exhausted but not being able to help her. Henry would fall asleep breast feeding and wake up if she tried to move him. I did get envious of her a little bit and I do want kids soon. My age tells me I should have kids more than my heart does. My heart and mind are so young that they keep telling me I have plenty of time to play and travel before having kids. I hope they are right because it is my heart that I keep listening to.

     Henry started to cry as soon as Dawn left. He wanted to be held looking outward which meant every time I turned him around to try to cuddle with him on my shoulder, he would cry. He also would cry every time I would sit down. He didn't want to take a nap which I thought he would lay down for a few hours anyway which he didn't. I was feeding him and he would cry after I gave him the amount Dawn had left for him. So I asked myself, Can you feed a baby too much? Is he going to get sick if I feed him more than he usually eats? Will he eventually take a nap if he eats enough? These questions eventually got answered with the help of my friend Abby who I called and my little sis Jenn who had babysat more than I had.

       Henry was a handful and I understood why Dawn was so tired. I tried doing the dishes for her and I couldn't even finish that task. The baby would cry and cry until I picked him back up. Dawn got home and I handed Henry over so she could breast feed him. He fell asleep as soon as he was finished and was out the rest of the night. Dawn thanked me for tiring the guy out. She might be able to sleep tonight. Chad joked with me and asked if I brought the mail in. Ha Ha!!! I didn't even have time to finish the dishes. Being a mom is hard and props to all those out there. One day I hope to become one at the right moment with a loving husband by my side but that time is not here yet. So I will go on my way enjoying life by traveling and experiencing it in a different way.

       I cant wait to see the little one again. Dawn gets on face time with me so Henry can at least hear my voice which I appreciate until I get back. He is a cutie. Good luck Dawn! Keep it up.