April 30-May 5, 2015 Feria de los Pueblos

     I arrived in Madrid very tired. I flew over with a 7 hour flight. I used to take Trazadone which is an antidepressant. I hadn't taken it for quite a while but thought it would help me sleep on the plane. I guess it reacted to the beer I had drank and caused me to have a weird reaction. I couldn't sleep and I felt hot then cold within a few minutes. It was a bad reaction and stupid of me to take a medication which I hadn't taken in while. I arrived and took the metro to my friends apartment. When I arrived I was greeted by two old friends I had met when I lived in Madrid five years prior. It was good to see them but I had some trouble speaking in spanish. I was really tired and my spanish had gotten rusty. It was quite challenging. I got some rest and felt a little better in the morning. My verbal skills were slower than my listening skills. My friend Marianelly took me to the center of Madrid where we walked around and I was able to try some jamon which is amazing ham that the spaniards smoke. She told me about a program called bla bla car. You sign up online where you can basically hitch a ride from one place to another. I was going to Fuengirola, my old home town where there was a feria or festival that weekend. I met a guy who was from Venezuela who picked up two others and we headed five hours down to Fuengirola. I didn't feel like I knew spanish when I got into the car but by the end of car ride, my spanish had improved a lot. I arrived at 10pm to my friend Damaris' house. I dropped off my bag and went straight out to the feria.
      This festival or fair had grown so much since I lived there. It had many more fair rides and lots of games where you could win prizes. The back of the fair was where these little buildings or casetas had been set up where each caseta was a different country. In the little building you could find crafts, food, drinks, t-shirts and music from that specific country. There were 12-15 buildings of different countries. You could travel around the world in just one night. It was amazing. This was the feria that I remembered. I loved hanging out in south america but it was really interesting to see countries that I knew I would be going to but never had been before. It was exciting to visit Peru because I knew this country was on my list to go to, a dream to hike macchu piccu would sometime soon come true.
     Damaris and I partied for three days and three nights straight. We met up with her friends and family and we traveled around trying kangaroo meat and playing drums in Australia and getting drunk in Belgium and listening to music in Ireland. It was so amazing. We even went to the beach the next day to relax from so much partying. I even went back and met some students of mine after the local high school got out. They didnt recognize me at first but when they did they told me something that I will always remember. A student told me, "Tracy, you were the best english teacher we ever had. Its true. You really taught us a lot." I really invested in them. They were my life. The teachers let me do anything and I had planned a play and music concert for Christmas and it turned out amazingly. It was good to hear this. My trip back home to Fuengirola was remarkable.

          My students reminded me that although I wasn't sure of what I was doing as a teacher, I still was making a difference. My fourth graders were now in their last year in high school. They grew up. I couldn't remember some of their names but I remembered their faces and who they were. I gave more attention to the kids that were in love with learning. The ones that blended in and didnt want recognition or liked being called on thought I wouldn't remember them but I did. They all made a difference to me. After meeting with them, I realized I made a difference to them as well.

        As I hugged my pregnant sister Dawn and my nephew Henry at the airport, I began to cry. The doubts and fears others had told me about that they had started to grow in my consciousness. One friend asked me, "How can you go on a three month vacation and only plan the first five days? Aren't you scared or worried?" I replied,"No, of course not. Things will fall into place and God will always be by my side. I'll plan as I go. Its more spontaneous that way. There will be more adventures that way. If I plan out everything, what kind of adventures would I really have?" It was such a strong and bold answer but I knew everything would be ok. Another friend would tell me please put up lots of pics on facebook so I can vicariously live through you.I replied to her, "You could meet me somewhere or do it yourself, you know."  I kept getting those responses from one friend after another. It didn't bother me. I thought they were either jealous or fearful of going on their own adventure. If this is the way to encourage others to travel then I would put up photos and write blogs about it, maybe one day a book. I didn't have much self esteem before this trip but I did believe I was going to do this. I had talked about it, dreamed about it, wrote about it for two years now. There was no way I would back out now.
           It was at the airport when all the fears everyone had told me about rushed into my head and became my own. Dawn, who would have a baby soon was there to send me off. I hugged her and began to cry. "I will miss out on the birth and miss out on seeing this little baby grow up for the first three months. Who am I to go on this trip with a backpack? How will I survive? Why didn't I make plans for more than just the first five days? What if something bad happens? " Everything I was fearful of came out right then and there with lots of tears. She smiled and said, "Tracy, you are one of the most boldest people I know. You have already done this. You went off with Milda some years ago and lived in Spain teaching English. You survived. Now its your adventure. Only you can write it. You have nothing to worry about. Yes, I'll have a baby but I'll write you and you can see him or her when you get back. You are a strong and courageous woman who doesn't let anyone or anything stop you. Why are letting these friends of yours place fears in your head that were never there in the first place. You are ready and you will have the time of your life."
           It was true and those words of wisdom helped me so much. I left that fear with the hug I gave her and headed into the airport for the time of my life. A little anxiety lingered so after checking in, I went and had a beer. I didn't have any idea what I wanted to do for the next three months but I knew it would amazing. This was going to be the adventure of a lifetime and I was doing it alone. I knew I wouldn't really be alone though. Most of my stops were going to meet friends from my past when I lived in Spain. Others would be new friends that I would meet in the future. I am happy and I am chasing my dreams. I had written them down on a goal list and soon I would be crossing them off to replace them with new dreams. I started to think of the positive things instead of fears. I would be seeing a family that kind of adopted me in Spain and I would be going to visit my old teachers I used to work with and also see my students that were now in high school. This dream was becoming a reality and I would never forget it.

Phoenix October 2014-April 2015

        Phoenix was amazing.  I met some great travelers in my orientation although most were dayshift and I had decided to take the nightshift position which caused a problem later when we tried to hang out. I however was able to see Phoenix and some of what it had to offer because I had met them.
      More importantly, this was my last stop before Europe and I was almost near my financial goal. I had changed my mind from traveling for six months to three. Six to seven months away from nursing is alot and I wasnt sure I wanted to do that. I started to pick up extra shifts to earn as much as possible. I had reached my goal half way through my assignment but decided to stay an extra month and a half to earn more. I stopped going out and kind of became depressed with just saving money. The goal was in reach and I was about to have the time of my life so I kept my eyesight on the fun I would have in just another month or two and proceeded to make money.
        Five years ago, I lived in Spain. I was heading back to where I lived to reconnect with the people I had met there. I had taught english to kids in a school in Fuengirola, Spain. I had lived in Madrid, Spain as well and would reconnect with my friends there too. The coolest group of friends I had made were actually from other countries so now I would travel to Austria, Denmark and Malaysia just to see them which I will get into later.
      While living in Fuengirola, I met a group of americans who taught english with me. One of the guys in our small group was Will. Will was alot like me and he reminded me of the chill, layed back side of me that was buried deep inside and couldnt escape. He was ok with whatever that happened and still showed his emotional side which was refreshing. I loved talking to him about anything and singing on the beach while he played guitar. A great tradegy struck Will and his family while he was living in Spain and it pulled Will down out of his carefree state into an angry, depressed and very hurt state of mind. He decided to go on a spiritual walk called the Camino de Santiago. It is a hike that some people use as a spiritual walk and others as a nature walk but it is intense hike that people walk during months at a time. It could take a month or two or people can walk only a section of it. It is whatever you want it to be.
       I saw a great change in Will when he came back to Fuengirola that year after his walk. He became carefree again and there was something else that he had that I couldnt place my finger on. Maybe it was confidence, maybe it was experience but I knew I wanted it. The thought that I could also take off to the top of Spain to hike across it on foot was placed there but I soon put it out of my mind and didnt look back. On my way to Ohio from Florida as a travel nurse just a year prior to heading to Europe, I stopped by Will's place in North Carolina to see him. Will talked about the walk and how it changed his life. He talked about the people he had met and the great adventures he had. Will struck that little desire in my heart to go on the hike yet again. It soon grew and before I knew it, it was apart of my plans. He also told me about a movie called The Way which also made me want to experience this life changing event.

      When I arrived in Phoenix I met a co-worker that had gone on the hike as well. He lit up when he talked about it and was very convincing that this hike would change my life. I had a huge reason on why I wanted to hike this spiritual journey but didnt really want to come face to face with this problem that was totally overcoming my life. I had buried my issue since I was 11 years old and I was doing just fine without therapy or help of any kind. The hike was calling me and to get ready I read some books on my issue which threw me into more depression so I focused on the physical aprt of it. This hike I would need to try to get in shape for because it would be 25 km a day or 16-17 miles of walking a day.
      I was a novice with hiking but the more I did it in Phoenix, the  more I loved it. Preparation became easy and my heart wanted more and  more. Hiking became a race for me. I would race myself up the famous Camelback mountain in Phoenix and try to beat my last time. My first time up the mountain, I couldnt make it to the top. The second time took me 2.5 hours to reach the top and now only 53 min. I was physically and financially ready for the big trip to Europe and the time was drawing near. My backpacking trip across Europe was finally here. I had planned this for two years and nothing was going to stop me. The only plans I had made was a cruise with Jennifer, another travel nurse I had met and the first four days.
       A friend had told me how much guts I had to plan a 3 month vacation but only have a few days of it planned. I realized maybe I was crazy, but my motto was "Fly by the seat of your pants." I didnt want to plan anything, I wanted it to be spontaneous and free. Milda, my best friend from Lithuania, who I first went to Spain with five years ago, taught me that. It was because of her, the adventurous side of me was awoken. There was no putting that back to sleep. I had seen and done so much with her that I was no longer scared of doing it alone. I wanted to go on this trip alone. I knew I would meet people -old and new. This would be a trip I could look back on when I was dying and say, I did it and I dont regret a thing. Jennifer even came to Phoenix before I left on the trip to help train. Hiking is no joke and although I tried to prepare, I wasn't prepared for what "The Way" had in store for me. The journey I had was the best time of my life but preparation can make or break all the difference in the experience you have.

Orlando and Jacksonville

       Back in March 2014...after my contract was cut early I headed to Orlando. I thought this would be a good idea to live in the city but my hospital was actually in the middle of nowhere, a small little town called Tavares. It was such a great hospital to work at and the staff was treated with respect and gratitude. During nursing week, I must have been invited to three free lunches provided by the hospital and different groups of doctors. They even gave their travel nurses the nurses week token of appreciation which was a water bottle and lunch bag. This hospital was pretty amazing. There would be days where the manager would come up to the nurses and tell us to head downstairs next to the cafeteria to get an ice cream just because of how great we had worked the week before. This happened all the time. I felt appreciated and it made me want to work harder and pick up extra shifts. The problem was that it was out in the middle of nowhere and took me 45 minutes to get to work. When the contract was over, I knew it was time to move on.

         
          However, I took every opportunity I could to go to downtown Disney and Universal Studios. My cousin, Nicole had two free passes to Disney World for someone else since she worked there for the summer. Getting into Disney World for the first time that I had ever been there was awesome enough but Nicole had these passes that let us cut the lines and wait for a max of 30 minutes. We got to see three parks in one day. It was pretty awesome.  I had never been to Disney World before so I acted as excited as a nine year old. It was really cool to see the parades, princesses and meeting with Mickey. I can see why my parents didnt take all four of their children though. It would have cost a fortune and taken all day to do a few things. Im lucky Nicole had those passes to skip lines.

      My next assignment was in Jacksonville, Florida. I found a woman from Ohio to live with who was very friendly, her name was Mary. Her and I had alot in common and we got along great. It was amazing spending time with her on my time off. The unit I worked on was a post surgical unit for woman only. It was along the water as well which makes a great place to stare out the window as a patient or a nurse on a break. St. Augustine was a cute little town that was only an hour away. It had a winery and a distillery both with free samples. There was a fort and fountain of youth and a haunted trail as well. It was the perfect place to take visitors which I had.
     I was having a ton of fun in life but saving up for my big trip as well. The next assignment would be my last before the trip. I was considering night shift so I could save up more money in less time. When Phoenix, Arizona became available, I knew it was the best opportunity. I headed to Dayton, Ohio for a few weeks off and then headed through Colorado to Arizona. I was able to stop at Arches national park before heading to Phoenix for another 5 months to prepare for Europe.

West Palm Beach

          It was December 2013, and the breakup triggered the idea. I had always wanted to backpack Europe. I never thought I would do it, especially alone. The thought of backpacking by myself had to happen single. I decided I wasnt going to date for a year so I wouldnt change my mind and decided not to do it. The amount I needed would take me a few years to raise, however as a travel nurse, I could make this happen in half the time. I muffled through the pain to take all the necessary tests I needed to fill out the requirements to travel with the travel company. As soon as I was finished, I knew it was a waiting game. I wanted out of my job and Dayton, Ohio so bad that I really wanted to take any job. My heart however was set on West Palm Beach where my uncle and aunt lived. They had introduced me to their friend who I would live with for next to nothing. My family had just taken off to live in Brazil. If I had taken off just a few months later, I could have lived with my family. Things tend to work out though.
        I had an awful day at work where I had given my all to my patients but it wasn't good enough. I was getting frustrated with the job that I was consistantly being picked on for silly charting mistakes. I spent most of my day in the rooms of my patients helping them, assisting them to the bathroom, getting medication to them for pains or problems and listening to them. I headed out of work and realized I got a call from my recruiter who needed to talk to me as soon as possible. I had to wait to the next morning for the news. He found me a job at Good Samaritan Hospital on an overflow unit. It sounded easy which I found out later that it was far from that. It overlooked the water and abled me to live with my families' friend which I wanted. I said yes right away without paying attention to details of the contract. It was much less than I should have been paid but I didnt care at the time. It doubled my salary from what I was getting as a staff nurse and it was in Florida. I gave my two weeks soon after and knew that New Years would be spent on the road that year.
       My time here was amazing and cut short but I realized two things:1) nursing in florida wasnt as good as Ohio and I was consistanly put into situations that were unsafe and 2) time off made up for all the frustrations I had had at work. Life turned into a vacation.  I decided to take the extra money I would make and place it into a fund that I would use to go backpacking in Europe. My plan was to go for six months which would change later but that was the plan. I wanted to go wherever I wanted and do anything I wanted. If I earned $5000.00 for every month I was in Europe, I could achieve this. I knew I could spend alot less than that but this was my goal amount to have just in case. If I was to go for six months, I needed $25,000. This was going to take me about a year and a half to try to save it up and have a bit more for a buffer in case something happened.
         It was going to be hard to save up because everytime I turned around there was something fun to do in Florida. My time was spent with a friend named Melinda who had started traveling a year prior from Ohio as well. I met her through a friend named Becky and we met on a trip to Key West a year before I arrived. Melinda and I acted like queens the first few months. We ate the best seafood and went to all the best night clubs. It was the only time in my life where I was completely reckless with money. I realized when I was paying bills that if I wanted to reach my goals to go backpacking things were going to have to change soon. I enjoyed this crazy life for another month before changing my ways. Europe was calling and I wanted to make this happen. I was going to have to find cheaper ways to live and enjoy things if I was going to get there.