April 30-May 5, 2015 Feria de los Pueblos

     I arrived in Madrid very tired. I flew over with a 7 hour flight. I used to take Trazadone which is an antidepressant. I hadn't taken it for quite a while but thought it would help me sleep on the plane. I guess it reacted to the beer I had drank and caused me to have a weird reaction. I couldn't sleep and I felt hot then cold within a few minutes. It was a bad reaction and stupid of me to take a medication which I hadn't taken in while. I arrived and took the metro to my friends apartment. When I arrived I was greeted by two old friends I had met when I lived in Madrid five years prior. It was good to see them but I had some trouble speaking in spanish. I was really tired and my spanish had gotten rusty. It was quite challenging. I got some rest and felt a little better in the morning. My verbal skills were slower than my listening skills. My friend Marianelly took me to the center of Madrid where we walked around and I was able to try some jamon which is amazing ham that the spaniards smoke. She told me about a program called bla bla car. You sign up online where you can basically hitch a ride from one place to another. I was going to Fuengirola, my old home town where there was a feria or festival that weekend. I met a guy who was from Venezuela who picked up two others and we headed five hours down to Fuengirola. I didn't feel like I knew spanish when I got into the car but by the end of car ride, my spanish had improved a lot. I arrived at 10pm to my friend Damaris' house. I dropped off my bag and went straight out to the feria.
      This festival or fair had grown so much since I lived there. It had many more fair rides and lots of games where you could win prizes. The back of the fair was where these little buildings or casetas had been set up where each caseta was a different country. In the little building you could find crafts, food, drinks, t-shirts and music from that specific country. There were 12-15 buildings of different countries. You could travel around the world in just one night. It was amazing. This was the feria that I remembered. I loved hanging out in south america but it was really interesting to see countries that I knew I would be going to but never had been before. It was exciting to visit Peru because I knew this country was on my list to go to, a dream to hike macchu piccu would sometime soon come true.
     Damaris and I partied for three days and three nights straight. We met up with her friends and family and we traveled around trying kangaroo meat and playing drums in Australia and getting drunk in Belgium and listening to music in Ireland. It was so amazing. We even went to the beach the next day to relax from so much partying. I even went back and met some students of mine after the local high school got out. They didnt recognize me at first but when they did they told me something that I will always remember. A student told me, "Tracy, you were the best english teacher we ever had. Its true. You really taught us a lot." I really invested in them. They were my life. The teachers let me do anything and I had planned a play and music concert for Christmas and it turned out amazingly. It was good to hear this. My trip back home to Fuengirola was remarkable.

          My students reminded me that although I wasn't sure of what I was doing as a teacher, I still was making a difference. My fourth graders were now in their last year in high school. They grew up. I couldn't remember some of their names but I remembered their faces and who they were. I gave more attention to the kids that were in love with learning. The ones that blended in and didnt want recognition or liked being called on thought I wouldn't remember them but I did. They all made a difference to me. After meeting with them, I realized I made a difference to them as well.

        As I hugged my pregnant sister Dawn and my nephew Henry at the airport, I began to cry. The doubts and fears others had told me about that they had started to grow in my consciousness. One friend asked me, "How can you go on a three month vacation and only plan the first five days? Aren't you scared or worried?" I replied,"No, of course not. Things will fall into place and God will always be by my side. I'll plan as I go. Its more spontaneous that way. There will be more adventures that way. If I plan out everything, what kind of adventures would I really have?" It was such a strong and bold answer but I knew everything would be ok. Another friend would tell me please put up lots of pics on facebook so I can vicariously live through you.I replied to her, "You could meet me somewhere or do it yourself, you know."  I kept getting those responses from one friend after another. It didn't bother me. I thought they were either jealous or fearful of going on their own adventure. If this is the way to encourage others to travel then I would put up photos and write blogs about it, maybe one day a book. I didn't have much self esteem before this trip but I did believe I was going to do this. I had talked about it, dreamed about it, wrote about it for two years now. There was no way I would back out now.
           It was at the airport when all the fears everyone had told me about rushed into my head and became my own. Dawn, who would have a baby soon was there to send me off. I hugged her and began to cry. "I will miss out on the birth and miss out on seeing this little baby grow up for the first three months. Who am I to go on this trip with a backpack? How will I survive? Why didn't I make plans for more than just the first five days? What if something bad happens? " Everything I was fearful of came out right then and there with lots of tears. She smiled and said, "Tracy, you are one of the most boldest people I know. You have already done this. You went off with Milda some years ago and lived in Spain teaching English. You survived. Now its your adventure. Only you can write it. You have nothing to worry about. Yes, I'll have a baby but I'll write you and you can see him or her when you get back. You are a strong and courageous woman who doesn't let anyone or anything stop you. Why are letting these friends of yours place fears in your head that were never there in the first place. You are ready and you will have the time of your life."
           It was true and those words of wisdom helped me so much. I left that fear with the hug I gave her and headed into the airport for the time of my life. A little anxiety lingered so after checking in, I went and had a beer. I didn't have any idea what I wanted to do for the next three months but I knew it would amazing. This was going to be the adventure of a lifetime and I was doing it alone. I knew I wouldn't really be alone though. Most of my stops were going to meet friends from my past when I lived in Spain. Others would be new friends that I would meet in the future. I am happy and I am chasing my dreams. I had written them down on a goal list and soon I would be crossing them off to replace them with new dreams. I started to think of the positive things instead of fears. I would be seeing a family that kind of adopted me in Spain and I would be going to visit my old teachers I used to work with and also see my students that were now in high school. This dream was becoming a reality and I would never forget it.