I hate that I am so emotional, it breaks me and brings me to my knees. Emotion stops me in my tracks and turns me around completely. Emotion makes me look weak!!!
That is only the half of it though. Emotion makes me stronger after I might look weak. Emotion brings me to my knees and also helps me stand stronger and taller than I have before. It might have brought me to look weak but it gives me the encouragement to get back in the game and fight stronger and harder till the job gets done. It might bring tears and sorrow but there is a fire spitting rainbow after the rain stops falling. I stand up, dust myself off and find pleasure and glory at the end of the day.
The most emotional thing I have done in my life was run a marathon, in a country where my ancestors came from...It was also the hardest thing I have done and now in a crazy world, I have been contemplating doing it again. I was lost and down...running made me whole again. I am thinking of doing it but living and working on night shift as a nurse makes it kind of crazy thinking I can do this. I wanted to wait for good weather but it never came. Here it is, cinco de mayo and its still rainy and gross outside. Can I find a gym that will let me run in the middle of the night? Will I be able to train inside on a treadmill after completing all my training outside alongside the Mediterranean sea? I was so inspired to run when I was in Europe...to live outside of the apartment, to see and talk with friends at least three times a week. It doesn't happen here. I spend 3 days a week 12 hours each working as a nurse. I usually will have one crazy day and two not so crazy days...last week was tough. I spent three days working equally crazy with different scenarios and different problems. It was quite challenging. I hope to regain some sleep to rejuvenate myself and my attitude. Living on night shift outside of work has made me so lazy. I dont see too many people and cant seem to motivate myself to do anything. Even write. I dont know what to write about however and I know that there arent too many people reading this. Even my sisters have told me that they are too busy and not interested in reading my blogs. ok. So then, I guess I am writing to my dear sweet friend Christine, possible Nandi, Corey and Staci...If you do read a blog...please make a comment! I always enjoy them.
